Long before your cat ever encountered him, Mr. Bill was already famous for suffering loudly, repeatedly, and without learning a single lesson. This makes him an exceptionally appropriate offering for cats, who value emotional durability almost as much as softness.

Cats approach Mr. Bill with enthusiasm and very little mercy. They bat him. They flip him. They pin him down for extended discussions about who is really in charge. And yet—because he is generously plush—he often survives the ordeal long enough to be carried away and cradled like a defeated but cherished adversary.

Humans recognize him instantly. Cats do not care who he is, only that he is small, soft, and willing to endure both torture and affection in the same afternoon. At just four inches from head to toe, Mr. Bill fits neatly into the feline playbook: easy to grab, easy to dominate, and easy to nap with once the lesson has been fully taught.